“Be Still, and know that I am God!”Ps. 46:10, NRSV
This year I started out with a new book, “Beads of Healing,” by Kristen Vincent and might I add, so far so good! As I read through each page slowly, something really caught my eye. It was the story of Elijah after the prosecution of the prophets. It seemed that he was also to be killed because of his actions against the last initial preachers of the word of Christ Jesus. Fleeing into the desert he ran away from it all to be collapsed under a tree with no energy. Reflecting upon his life and actions he decided that he was completely done with it all and wanted God to take him. At this point he wished himself dead. Gods response to that of course was the complete opposite. He sent an angel, in turn the angel touched Elijah’s shoulder and told him to eat. As Elijah woke he smelt bread that was freshly prepared and a Vas of water. He ate and drank and then again slept. When he returned to his consciousness, again he was met by an angel who fed him and let him drink. Elijah left that tree in the middle of no where and traveled 40 days and 40 nights to Gods mountain, Mt. Horeb, and immediately retreated into a cave at the base of the mountain to where God met him and asked,” Elijah what are you doing here?” After Elijah tells him about the Jews and how they are doing all the things that were not of God, and the fate of the prophets God tells Elijah to go out into the mountain and watch the lord pass by. There was great chaos and the wind had destroyed mountains and threw stones around, followed by earthquakes and fire, yet he did not see the lord in any of it. Only after that fire is when Elijah felt and heard the lord…..through a gentle whisper.
Truth is we all start out like Elijah don’t we? We are on the fence watching those around us that are close being emotionally killed so to speak so we end up running away into ourselves. Running so far away that we run out of energy and we feel depleted. So depleted that we get to the bitter end of what we call simply giving up and we wish ourselves dead ; envisioning how we do it vividly, and/or actually taking the steps to follow through with it. We lay in defeat waiting to die, but we suddenly regain our composure and move through. We actually pick ourselves up off the ground and carry on with strength, or do we? You see it really wasn’t us picking ourselves up at all but God touching our thoughts and heart pushing us towards the next step which is connection and healing.
Once we are at the door of connection and healing with God what happens? Yep! You guessed it! We run into the darkest hole we can find right when we are so close to getting through it! We succumb to our shame and doubt. We hold out as long as we can failing to connect. God reaches into our thoughts and in those moments asks us why we are there? What exactly do we want and are we looking for it through the worst moments (that wind, earthquakes and fire) as we sit in the still moment at the conclusion of the worst disasters of our lives we hear him. The gentle whisper in the calm of it all. This is God.
Telling our story to others is hard. It takes energy and strength. That is defined as courage (heart). Without telling our story however with everything we have inside us, we keep ourselves trapped in that dark cave. When your in the dark, you know how that feels; though comfortable, it’s cold and lonely. Loneliness is disconnection which to me is the total opposite of what God wants for you. God wants to connect with you. Until you do you will always feel incomplete and this fosters negativity. Only through God will you be brought out of your shame. Like a dark pit it sucks you in but don’t fear, he is the hand that pulls you up and out of it to your better life. Through your stories of pain and triumph, he will help others to reach the same happiness and connection. Take a breath. Take a pause and listen. He is telling you it’s time to stand on that mountain and see who he is. The calm. The peace. The whisper in your mind.